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Author
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Topic: Am I crazy to think this way?
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GretaJack
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Member # 419
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posted July 07, 2004 01:38 PM
The first week of June I moved out of my house. My husband said (again) that he wants a divorce. So I pack up my two dogs and my stuff, find a place that lets me have my labs (not an easy feat). My major problem is that where I am living there is no outdoor kennel. My dogs are house dogs, but they are used to being kenneled outside during the day while I am at work. So I have been kenneling them at the neighbor's house that is acrossed from my house, well my husbands. I get paranoid about having them there simply because I fear that if they would get out of the kennel they will go across the highway to home. The other day, after I picked them up, Greta was crying in the car. Looked up to see my husband outside in the front yard. I know she saw him and I swear that is why she was so upset. He has had no contact with them for over a month. I know that my dogs miss my husband, but how long do I expect to have to wait for them to adjust to the change? Greta is very sensitive and a hard keeper. She has been doing very well until that day. She knows that going home is to her new house and that going to the barn means play time. I hate to say this but I want my sweet kids to completely forget about my husband. How long is this going to take? Breaks my heart since I know that they love him as much as they do me. I know that I was very selfish in taking my two dogs but after all is said and done, he doesn't deserve them. Will it ever happen that time will just go on long enough and they will forget him? I wish that I could. How long is a dog's long term memory retention? Been a pretty stressful day for me. Can you tell?
Posts: 195 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Dec 2003
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ellierat
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Member # 612
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posted July 07, 2004 02:09 PM
It would all depend on how close the dogs were to your husband before the split, if she was daddys girl, it will take a while, maybe never.
Speaking from experience only, Wally has been with me for 1 year, when Ellie had his pups, Wally's previous owner came to have a look at them, Wally showed no interest in him at all.
HE ONLY HAS EYES FOR ME, that Wally of mine.
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I love my labs.
Posts: 880 | From: australia | Registered: Feb 2004
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GretaJack
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posted July 07, 2004 02:44 PM
She is a daddy's girl. She has worshipped him. But I have always been their stable one. My husband used to travel a lot so he wasn't home much. I am the one to obedience train them, water retrieve trained and play with them. My husband was their cuddle buddy when he was home but never worked with them or played with them. He just expects me to have them ready for openning day of duck hunting. And they always were.
Posts: 195 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Dec 2003
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ellierat
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Member # 612
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posted July 07, 2004 02:59 PM
Mine are Labs too, Wally was this mans sons dog, but even when the son looked at Wally he didn't go to the boy either.
I think they adjust to their new enviornment, then what they once had tends to fade, just the same as us, then it becomes less important to them, how long have you been apart?
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I love my labs.
Posts: 880 | From: australia | Registered: Feb 2004
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DaxAriel's toy
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Member # 740
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posted July 07, 2004 03:23 PM
As long as it's a clean break they will adapt. Sorry to hear about the end of your relationship but YOU GOT THE DOGS.
I wouldn't allow him any access as this enforces that he might still have a place in your pack. You are alpha - mommy - litter mater - provider. That's what they know and respect.
Posts: 748 | From: Edmonton AB Canada | Registered: Mar 2004
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GretaJack
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posted July 08, 2004 05:44 AM
I don't think I would make it without my dogs. My husband still has Duke which is the abused black lab that he took in. I know that he brought Duke home for a reason. He knew I would never let him have Greta and Jack so before all this broke out again he got a dog that was his. The time before that I moved out he had no dog and was completely miserable. The a-hole hid my dogs from me. He picked them up while I was at work and took him to a friends house and then left to go out of town.
Thank god we don't have any human kids. We sure fight enough about the canine ones.
Hopefully, we will get Greta past her loneliness for her daddy soon.
Thanks for your replies
Posts: 195 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Dec 2003
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DaxAriel's toy
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Member # 740
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posted July 08, 2004 06:28 AM
You know when you posted that he brought home that lab, I thought WOW what a great guy, he must really be a sweet heart to bring his wife another dog. Now that I read your last post - I think about he's equal to the stuff you scrap off the bottom of your shoe after walking thru a well used dog kennel.
Part of Greta's problem might be that she's still looking for him because of the previous separation. Give her lots of love and she'll be fine.
I hope you find a new someone quickly for yourself (if you even want one) as you seem to be a wonderful person who deserves much happiness. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.
Posts: 748 | From: Edmonton AB Canada | Registered: Mar 2004
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ellierat
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Member # 612
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posted July 08, 2004 02:25 PM
Yep, I think it's time for a pm too, check yours Greta.
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I love my labs.
Posts: 880 | From: australia | Registered: Feb 2004
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