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Thread: Ode to pet owners :)

  1. #1
    Protector of Dobes Senior Dog Member+ Dobified's Avatar
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    Ode to pet owners :)

    Dear Dog or Cat:





    When I say to move, it means go someplace else,

    not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you

    in the way.



    The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain

    YOUR food. The other dishes are mine and contain MY food. (Please

    note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate &food does not

    stake a claim for it becoming your food &dish, nor do I find that

    aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.)



    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom

    is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.



    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size

    bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to

    sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs

    and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is

    not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to

    the fullest extent possible. (I also know that sticking tails

    straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to

    maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)



    My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.





    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there

    and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw,

    whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge

    and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I

    entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for

    years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)





    The proper order is kiss me, and then go smell the other dogs or cats'

    butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change

    for you.

    To pacify you I have posted the following message on

    our front door..... Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like

    to complain about our pets:



    1. They live here; YOU DON'T.



    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the

    furniture.



    3. I like my pet better than I like most people.



    4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or

    daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech

    challenged. Dogs and cats can be better than kids. They eat

    less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually

    come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug

    using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about buying the

    latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion

    dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the

    results.



    This is for all pet lovers. For those who arenít, itís too cute not to share!
    In Flanders fields the poppies blow
    Between the crosses, row on row,
    That mark our place; and in the sky
    The larks, still bravely singing, fly
    Scarce heard amid the guns below.

  2. #2
    Senior Dog Member weimlover0816's Avatar
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    That's funny!! Dax posted the same thing a few days back, and I've sent it to all my pet owner friends!!!
    got weimaraner?

  3. #3
    Protector of Dobes Senior Dog Member+ Dobified's Avatar
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    Beaten to the punch !!!! oops, sorry Dax I missed it. You would think with all this time I have on my hands I would have seen it.


    OK, feel free to delete it, I thught it was new !!! LOLOLOL!!!

    but it is funny! AND true!
    In Flanders fields the poppies blow
    Between the crosses, row on row,
    That mark our place; and in the sky
    The larks, still bravely singing, fly
    Scarce heard amid the guns below.

  4. #4
    Couch Potato Senior Dog Member+Senior Dog Moderator Dax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by weimlover0816
    That's funny!! Dax posted the same thing a few days back, and I've sent it to all my pet owner friends!!!
    I'd love to take credit but it was Lessica's...

    http://www.prodoggroomingsupplies.co...ead.php?t=3918


    It's good enough to share twice

  5. #5
    Senior Dog Member weimlover0816's Avatar
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    *embarassed...* sorry Lessica!!!!

    and it is certainly good enough to have here twice!!!!!
    got weimaraner?

  6. #6
    Senior Dog Member 1shell's Avatar
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    @@good one.@@

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